Her Recipe for Friendship

Six ladies gathered together in an Italian restaurant last night in honor of celebrating the birthday of one. I was the youngest and definitely the least internationally experienced of the bunch ~ and the only one not fluent in Thai I might add! I thought I would share the experience with you as it was a bit different to any birthday celebration I have been to before.

I picked up the Swedish birthday girl because we live in the same neighborhood. She has called both Thailand and Sweden home over her lifetime and she and her husband began their ministry abroad in the South of India nearly 20 years ago. Our kids and her kids are close friends and share a ride to and from school each day. She and I have developed our friendship in particular this year over coffee nearly once a week. We also had the sincere pleasure of celebrating a Swedish Christmas with them this year and attending the late night Christmas Eve service together at church. When school is out, her family will return to Sweden for the next year, yet really not knowing when or if they will return to Chiang Mai.

The lady on her left at the table where we each enjoyed different pasta dishes was Canadian with some roots linked to Ohio, but I am not sure of the connection. They, too, are long time residents of Thailand and the friendship of her and the birthday girl goes way back to language learning in Bangkok where they shared in each other’s lives quite regularly. Today, however, they see little of each other except at occasional school functions or community events.

The next lady was Canadian as well, but she grew up in India as a missionary kid. She and the one being honored used to be in a prayer group until our mutual friend left to be in Sweden for a year the last time. Circumstances and friendship groups for the Canadian changed while the birthday girl was away ~ and today they have few opportunities for connection but they have the memory of their former times of prayer together.

The fourth lady to my left and sitting across from me was a woman of American heritage yet she didn’t learn English until she was eleven. She had lived in a conservative tribal village in Burma (Myanmar) speaking only Lisu ~ the language of the tribe. She experienced huge culture shock when she was eleven and her family moved back to the US to Terre Haute, Indiana where she and her older sister were in the same class basically only learning English in a public school for an entire year! (However, as a native Hoosier myself, I think I would have had major culture shock too if I had to live in Terre Haute.) Somewhere, in her story she met a man from a long time Thailand missionary family and they were married. She really struggled to answer the often taboo question in missionary circles of “Where are you from?” without rattling off an autobiography. I also learned that she and her husband lived in Laos for several years with four young children. She home schooled their children and her husband would often be gone 4-6 weeks with out any knowledge of him being dead or alive during those weeks. When their visa was denied one year, they had to make a decision about where to live…so they came “home” to Thailand. Their kids go to school with our kids and this was the first time we had officially met. This woman and the birthday girl shared stories about in-common tribal people they knew and how those people in earlier years were shunned and put out of their tribes for choosing Christianity. Today, many of these tribes are fully Christian!

The last lady at the table and sitting on my right was originally from Denmark and speaks English with a heavy accent. She trained as a nurse while in college, but she was encouraged by the YFC director in her hometown to consider carefully what the Lord was asking her to do. When she met her husband and realized he had similar ideas about “God’s call” on his life…they began training to be on the field in Thailand. That’s a very concise version of her story, but it is enough. Her path crossed the birthday girl’s a long time ago when their now 14 year old daughters used to be infant, toddler and elementary school best friends.

So my new coffee friend of 15 months had a birthday party to honor the span of years of her friendships and recognize how people come in and out of each others lives and still care for one another. Here in this particular city people come and go and come back again so often that it really is hard to stay connected on a regular basis with the same friend for long. So as I say good-bye to a new friend, I am choosing to do so with open hands and heart to let her be where the Lord leads…and thank God for the time we have had as she has filled an empty friendship hole in my heart in these short months. Thank you Rhode for including me in the recipe! May the Lord bless you and keep you until we meet again. I will remember you in prayer!

Romans 16:27- to the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ! Amen.